I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I wish there were birth control emojis
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
