Banned from zoo.
Again?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
