Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
