So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
