After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
