Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize