I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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