i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I have post one night stand depression
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