your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i can't believe i had my finger in that
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize