The maid of honor just puked.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
