ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
