I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
