He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
NoShamevember. You game?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
