the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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