Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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