I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
