Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
