Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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