pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
