haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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