First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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