bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
