My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize