im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
