I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
ok first of all what the fuck
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
