Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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