I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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