i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
