Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
