we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
