it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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