Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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