I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
ttyl tear gas
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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