Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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