try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
