She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
