Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
