i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize