you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
