Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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