Is it because I queefed?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
