I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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