It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
