I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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