lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
