I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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