just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
