I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Drake has all the answers
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
