i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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