Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
