Dude my mom stole all your condoms
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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