Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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