is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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