I'm sorry my penis didn't work
your room smells of hookers.
And success
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
