he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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