You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
