i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
