Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
