i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
