I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
