I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
