I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
