I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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