I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I believe in your delicious
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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