Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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